You’ve been a house, a garden, a battle field.
A time machine, a palette and the brush, you’ve been
the slow flowing river of immense joy, blood and tears.
I know my heart is connected to you.
I remember how my sorrows caused miscarriage and loss.
And I know that through you I felt my connection to mother,
grandmother, and all mothers going back.
I became versed in the languages of conception, gestation, and waiting.
And I learned release.
You talked to me in my dreams,
you showed me my baby’s face before he was born,
and you warned me about those who would not.
How many more talks did we have?
Too many to count.
On the night of my deepest sadness
you conceived and made a place for life to grow.
They will take you from me in a few hours
and I will walk the remaining days of my life without you.
For all the things you know, I acknowledge
and I say, “Thank you”.
Thank you for your endurance and your labor,
thank you for loving unconditionally
all that you were charged to love.
I will continue to create
and hold that space inside of me where you once lived.
I will fill that space with only love.
For you were the vehicle to forever
even when we were lonely lovers.